While listening to a podcast with Jenna Kutcher and money coach Tiffany Aliche I heard Tiffany refer to growing pains as a scientific term, and that when she is “leveling up” she often feels like she is experiencing emotional growing pains. Boy, have I been there. Tears in the shower, tears before the meeting, tears in the car on the way, tears on my way home after rejection and a call to my best friend to find out if I am, indeed, a crazy person.
Our society has spent a lot of time teaching us that success is joy. That the more we “level up” the better we feel, the more centered and in control we become. That when we find what is right for us it will feel soooo good. But fear is a huge factor in leveling up—you have to be willing to dance with your fears—take them for a spin around the metaphorical dance floor, and never let them lead. This can be really hard when we are facing the unknown and there are tons of new things, feelings and horizons coming our way. Our fears cause emotions or icky feelings in our stomach and then we wonder if those feelings are a sign that we “shouldn’t” do that thing.
Our fears put ceilings on our potential. They cap our creativity, financial opportunities, the depth of our relationships and our own opinion of ourselves at a level that makes them comfortable. The issue with this is that our soul-calling—the thing that put us on this earth at this time—it needs us to become big, and fear and bigness do not dance well together.
So you’re probably walking around with a lot of ideas or thoughts about what you want to do with your time, your relationships, your business, your job. You probably have beautiful images visiting you in your dreams or while you are daydreaming at your desk. And sometimes when those images appear they are followed by a big dose of fear. They tell you that “no one will pay for that”, or “I don’t deserve that much love”, “or I could never really make that happen”, or my very favorite, “It will never work out”. This fear narrative is trying to get you to stay in your comfort zone because the growing pains of leveling up are PAINFUL.
Just this week I coached my client on a new program offering. We spent a few hours working out her vision, organizing her ideas and building a pitch. I coached her through doubts and under charging. I helped her see her vision come to life on paper so she could communicate it soundly to her buyer. Two days later she pitched the project and secured funding for her $210,000 idea. Yes, $210,000 for six months of work. My client has never made this kind of money. She has never pitched a program this big. Yet, through management of her fears, a coach as an accountability partner, and her own creative will, she was able to land the biggest contract of her career. And I guarantee you it is the first of many.
Whatever your ceiling is on your own perspective of your potential, that is the ceiling that you will hit when you set your goals and intentions. If you are walking around playing small, you will receive small things in return. I know it is scary to ask for what you want, to pitch that big idea, to say yes to love or to put yourself out there for rejection, and I am not pretending that rejection won’t come. But isn’t rejection coming anyway? By you sitting still not asking for what you want and not pitching your soul-calling to everyone you meet, you are rejecting yourself over and over.
The world is going to reject us enough, we should do ourselves a favor and not reject ourselves before we even get started.
What is your ceiling? What narrative are you playing over and over that is telling you that you can’t? What narrative is inside of you making you afraid of your own calling—afraid of investing in yourself?
Whatever that ceiling is I challenge you to raise it. If your sales goals are $25,000, double it. If your dream is to launch your business in 12 months, cut that time in half. If your dream is to quit your job and work for your favorite company, I challenge you to fix your resume and write that cover letter and then send it, today.
You can be your own worst enemy or you can have everything you want. The decision is up to you.
Let me know what happens when you raise your ceiling—I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.
If this post resonated with you and you want to level up your ceiling together—I am currently offering my 6 session package at a discount. Head on over to take a look.