Hello there, welcome to day 8 of my daily self commitment of writing each day for 15 minutes.
Currently listening to The Paper Kites new album on Spotify and planning a January group coaching offering. Stay tuned!
Last week I wrote a lot about self commitment and how keeping your self commitments is the most direct path to success. I tried to paint a picture of why this can be a complicated endeavor. We all want a sense of belonging and sometimes what is best for us is not best for the other person. That means you will be faced with difficult decisions when implementing change and that implementing change or committing to change might feel really foreign.
Your brain is going to want you to stop. It will play tricks on you. And also, sometimes you will make the wrong decision. Absolutely. There is no way you are going to get every single choice right. If you are wobbling somewhere on a line wondering which direction to go you are completely normal and there is a possibility that you will choose wrong. At the same time, what is wrong? Wrong to you might be completely different than it is to me. Saturday my brain decided to tell me that I had made a mistake in an important relationship in my life and then to defend itself, it started telling me stories of what went wrong in the relationship. This is my brain both working for me and against me. Thinking up negative things so I can defend myself against the sadness of life is also a mean and tricky thing to do. That’s where meditation comes in, the practice of not attaching to any of the things the brain is trying to tell us. Are you confused yet?
My parents had a very successful friend when we were growing up. He grew his business from nothing to a multi-million dollar corporation. One day my dad asked his friend, “What made you so successful?”. His friend answered very simply and directly, “I just kept making decisions”.
That is what leadership is. Leadership in your life, your business, your career, your relationships. It is all about making decisions. Sometimes those decisions will be right and sometimes those decisions will be wrong. I can guarantee that all of those times the decision will lead you somewhere new; to a discovery, to a lesson, to an adventure. Because even the wrong decisions are right decisions. I know, now you are spinning.
My favorite video on this concept was introduced to me during my coaching training and it is Benjamin Zander talking about possibility. It is well worth the 14 minutes but in summary Benjamin proposes a new way of looking at mistakes. Instead of letting the voice in our head remind us of how we have screwed up and talk down to us, we simply celebrate our mistake by joyously and loudly shouting, “How fascinating!”. When we are working from a place of possibility instead of being right, we are much more likely to try.
So how can we make choosing easier? How can we tune out the noise and really home in on that authentic self? We have to keep our vision at the forefront of what we do and we have to be willing to make mistakes. So how do we build a vision we can trust? How do we design our ideal self or our ideal life from scratch? Especially when we aren’t sure where to start? Well I would say, that if you have been following along in this series and you have chosen one small self commitment that you are already well on your way!
The beautiful thing about a personal vision (for your work, for your life, for your relationships) is that it is whatever you want it to be. There is no standard, no expectation, no right or wrong. You get to make it up! You can write whatever you want to, you can imagine whatever you want to, you can proclaim whatever you want to! You want to be a CEO? Great! Write it down. You want to own a house on the water near the woods? Fantastic, write it down! You want to build a healthy lifestyle and eat better? Wonderful! Write it down. Write it all down, anything you can think of, anything that comes up, simply write it down.
Then hold that thing close. Imagine what it would feel like to be there, on your porch looking out at the water. Imagine what it would feel like in that conference room leading an organization. Imagine what it would feel like to cook a delicious and healthy meal and then enjoy it with someone you love. Imagine! Imagine! Imagine! And when you are done imagining and you are so excited about the possibility of what you have imagined, take one small tiny step in that direction. Make one small decision. Commit. Commit. Commit.
And then go and make giant mistakes. Try everything. Put yourself out there. Ask for the raise. Ask for the leadership training. Ask for the support from your family to cook healthy meals. Take up space. Raise your hand. Go outside and take the walk that will lead to the jog that will lead to you running the marathon. Start today. I believe in you. I know you can do it. Do you believe in you?
This is where the fun begins. This is where the stars align and the signs reinforce and the universe says, “Ok, I hear you, let’s go.”
If you want support building your vision, I am here and excited to help you. In January I will be rolling out a group coaching offering for those of you that are seeking to really transform your life, your leadership, your career, your business. I look forward to sharing more with you soon and to hearing about your vision! Share with me in the comments below or send me an email firstname.lastname@example.org. I can’t wait to get started!